An All Points Bulletin

I just read an interesting article, of which the basis of this originated from an article written in Psychology Today, and I want to share a condensed version with you.

The author says and I quote, “Through studies she has found that a large number of parents over the past few years have been focusing their skills, time, and energies to protect their teens from hardships while simultaneously turning up the pressure to achieve more.” The result is a culture of teens who are fragile, depressed, anxious, overcompliant and unable to think on their feet.

She says, parents want to make their teens happy, but happiness doesn’t come without challenge, risk and growth. So according to her, stop wrapping your teen in bubble wrap-it makes it harder for them.

What do you see with your own teen? I can see some connections as a youth minister. With this new awakening of information, she does give us some practical ways that can help tackle this crippling trend.

1. Let them play… Play looks like a waste of time because it’s not goal-directed. But play is critical neurologically. Play makes them more attentive, and play helps them navigate better.

2. Eat dinner together five nights a week… Meals grease the skids for connection and conversation. 

3. Learn how to criticize them… Instead of offering ‘your’ performance judgement, ask them to evaluate their own performance.

4. Take achievement pressure off of them… Teens’ achievements may or may not impact the world for good, but who they’re becoming certainly will. Success hinges less on getting things right than how you handle getting it wrong.

5. Teach them how to tolerate the discomfort of challenges, failures, and boredom... We are sort of wired to remove obstacles from their lives instead of proactively drag obstacles into their path. We already know that you don’t get physically stronger without resistance-right.

6. Encourage your teens to problem-solve and take risks… It’s crucial to surround them with creative problem-solving questions. They need to know that there’s more than one right way to do almost anything. 

This all came about because of an alarming increase in the number of college students with serious mental health issues. 

This article stopped me in my tracks. It may do the same for you… I know one thing for sure, the teens matter in my world. I want a balanced, faith-filled life for them, don’t you?